


Coloring Confidence

by SarazelSwift



Series: True Colors [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Blindness, Fluff, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 02:57:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11819814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarazelSwift/pseuds/SarazelSwift
Summary: Yuuri had a rough go at the championship-expecting to not only lose but to be forced into retirement. What he didn't expect was for his world to burst into vivid color at the very sight of his idol- Victor Nikiforov.





	Coloring Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this at its first creation, but after a long (and I mean LONG) time of mulling it over, editing and re-editing, and a final beta by Haruprincess: I have decided it's ready to be seen by the world.
> 
> This is a nice little fluffy piece which has given way into a possible sequel? Of whom- you might ask? *Hon hon hon* Well, let's say Victuuri is not the only thing I ship in Yuri!!! On Ice

Yuuri stared at the dark gray mats under his skates. Failure filled him as he fought against the urge to cry. He had come so far and accomplished so much, yet he failed when it mattered most. He bent forward and loosened the knots on his skates. He was done.

            He pulled the skates off and dropped them into the open black duffle bag beside the bench. What was he going to do now? Retire. He thought bitterly, jamming his feet into his sneakers. He slid into his oversized hoodie and zipped it up to his chin. The crowd in the arena began to cheer wildly. Yuuri’s eyes shot to the door and then to the intercom as the commentator’s voice came through. “Stunning, absolutely stunning!” Yuuri’s shoulders fell. “Another remarkable performance from Victor Nikiforov.”

            Not only was he a failure as a competitive men’s figure skater but he had just missed a chance to see Victor, the world renown figure skater. His performances were always brilliant and crowd-shockers. He had seen plenty on the television, but this was to be his first time seeing him up close. Yuuri grabbed up his duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder. He clenched his teeth tightly together, trying to stop his tears from flowing. Nothing was happening the way he thought it would. He exited the locker room with only one thought on his mind. Home.

 

~~~

 

            Yuuri gave silent thanks to his coach for not speaking while they drove to the airport. The two worked through security and check in. Yuuri slumped down into a dark gray colored plastic chair in the waiting lounge. His coach sat next to him and settled himself in for the wait. “You did fine- we just have to have you work on your jumps.”

“Please not now. I don’t want to talk about this now.” He pleaded, running his hand through his hair. His coach sighed and leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands together between his knees casually. “Yuuri, something tells me there’s something more to this than you’re letting on. Is it just the competition?”

            The young man nodded and straightened his glasses. He leaned back in his chair and held his coach’s gaze. “Should I retire?” The coach sat up and scoffed. “I told you not to read the news, Yuuri. Now look at you. Competition is stressful for everyone. Don’t let one poor performance ruin the sport for you.” He looked up and motioned, “You have to strive to better yourself.” Yuuri’s tired eyes followed to the spot where his coach had pointed. Victor Nikiforov entered the airport and was now strolling toward the waiting lounge.

He stood slowly, staring at Victor. The only thing Yuuri could hear was the sound of his rapidly beating heart. Victor shone like the blinding white sun, colors bleeding out from him into the world around him. His hair was the silvery color of moonlight and his eyes the color of arctic waters. The world around Victor exploded into color suddenly, assaulting Yuuri’s mind. He dropped back into the seat, covering his eyes from the beauty of the world. His glasses clattered to the ground as Yuuri attempted to rub the color out of his vision.

            Yuuri admired Victor. The man was the epitome of perfection in figure skating. He shook his head in disbelief opening his eyes once more. “Yuuri?” His coach asked, handing him his glasses. “You ok?” Yuuri slid his glasses on and stared at Victor as the man neared. “Do you want a picture?” His coach asked, attempting to decipher Yuuri’s behavior.

            Victor Nikiforov was his soul mate. The world’s best figure skater, the most talented in the sport… his soul mate. Yuuri swallowed nervously and shook his head. “No. I don’t want to bother him.” His hands trembled terribly, he had to clench them together to stop. Could he walk up to the man and let him see? Had Victor already see him? His heart stumbled with the realization that Victor could be let down by seeing who his soul mate was. Yuuri felt the sharp sting of tears in his eyes. If I were Victor, he thought, I’d be destroyed. He swiped away the tears. Yuuri gathered his things and clambered over the back of the gray plastic seats and sat with his back to Victor. “Yuuri?”

            “Wake me when our plane is ready.” He said, failing to keep the tremor from his voice. Yuuri put the hood up on his coat, pulling it down over his eyes as far as he could. He couldn’t let Victor see him.

 

~~~

 

            It had been six months since the tournament. Yuuri stared at the ceiling above his bed. He had dreamed once again of seeing Victor in Technicolor. Every day following that night, Yuuri had prayed the color would fade. His mother had often spoken of finding soul mates. She described it as if someone turned on the light in your life, letting you see how brilliant and vivid the world was. It was the best moment in her life. He sighed and rolled out of his bed.

            Yuuri found himself staring at the poster on his wall. Victor’s playful smile and determined eyes seemed to stand out in the dim light of his bedroom. He had thought of reaching out to him, but what was there to say? To avoid the unwanted gaze of his soul mate, Yuuri stepped into his slippers and descended the stairs to retrieve breakfast. He slid the door open and found his mom and friend Minako sitting quietly at the table. Their eyes on him instantly. “What? Did I drool last night?” He furrowed his brow and wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “No you look fine.” His mom said, turning her attention quickly to the cup in her hands.

            He didn’t believe her. His mother was a terrible actress. Minako’s stormy gray eyes glistened and her lip trembled. “What-“

“Oh Yuuri! I’m so sorry!” She said, stumbling forward to embrace him. She wrapped him into a tight hug and swayed. “I know how much he meant to you.”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, wriggling away from her hold. He adjusted his black rim glasses and stared at her, focusing on the mind numbingly bright pink floral shirt. She pulled away and covered her mouth, regret filled her eyes. “You didn’t know?” He huffed and shook his head, ignoring the dark feeling encroaching on him. “Victor Nikiforov has been blinded. His career is over.”

            Yuuri froze. “It’s all over the news,” She said softly, waiting for his reaction. He shook his head and turned away. He ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. Yuuri powered on his computer, ignoring the overly bright colors. He wished now more than ever to be blind to them. He wished he had never looked upon Victor. Was hiding from Victor the right thing to have done? Now he would never know love. Neither of them would.

 

~~~

 

            “Yuuri, come here.” Mari whispered fiercely as he entered the hotel. After having spent the day at the ice rink, dealing with Mari’s mystery wasn’t how he wanted to finish his night. He rolled his eyes and walked to the thin rice paper wall of the sliding door she hid behind. “What is it?”

“Don’t get sassy with me just yet.” She said peeking out from the door. She rested her arm against the cherry wood door frame and looked down on him with a raised brow. Her brown hair was pulled up behind a white band. “You know that one skater.”

            Yuuri’s thoughts went directly to Victor. “Which one?” She made an annoyed sound and pointed toward the back of the hotel. “The blind one. He’s in the spa.”

“What?” His heart dropped, “What do you mean he’s here?” Mari dropped her arm and crossed her arms across her chest, the raspberry colored fabric puckering under her arms. “Well, his publicist says that Victor is under the impression that this hot spring has healing properties.”

            Yuuri pushed away from the doorway and ran to through the back of the hotel and into the hot springs. His lungs were screaming for air. Once outside Yuuri dropped his hands to his knees and sucked in the cool air of the night. “Hello?” A thick Russian accent called in the silence. Yuuri gulped down his last breath and looked up to see the man in the hot spring. The soft blue light from the moon made Victor Nikiforov’s skin glow. His silver hair was damp and slicked back. His once arctic blue eyes were paler. Yuuri swallowed nervously and straightened. “Sorry, to bother you,”

            Victor’s stiff posture relaxed as he settled back down into the water. “Are you a fan?” His voice was gracious and warm, but Yuuri could detect the bitter twinge. Of course he would be bitter about meeting a fan. “No. Er- yes, but… well that’s not-”

“It’s alright. If you would like a photo I would be more than happy to give you one, but please wait for me outside the spa.” Yuuri furrowed his brow and could only stare at the lean Adonis as he lounged in the hot spring. Victor would never know him. Victor would only know the bitter pity of his once worldwide fan base; that is all he would ever expect from the world. He would never expect his soul mate. “I’m-“ The rest of his sentence stuck in his throat like overcooked rice. Yuuri couldn’t just tell him: I’m your soul mate. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

“No worries.” Victor smiled graciously.

 

~~~

 

            He was here. Victor Nikiforov was in Hasetsu. Yuuri buried his head in his pillow and wailed. Could he break it to Victor that he was the one responsible for making Yuuri’s world lively? They were meant to be together. Not once had Yuuri’s vision of color ever faltered. Never had the colors dimmed, and just now being in Victor’s presence the colors seemed to be emboldened. He had to tell Victor.

            Yuuri’s heart swelled with the thought of admitting the truth he had tried to bury six months ago. He hadn’t realized the need for Victor until the news of his injury spread like wildfire. He hoped Victor needed him just the same. He sat up with the sudden decision: he would tell him. Yuuri nodded to himself and hurried to return to the first floor.

            “How are you feeling?” Yuuri heard another Russian voice asked. He furrowed his brow and slowed. “I feel better. There’s some clarity, but still no defined shapes.” Yuuri’s heart nearly stopped beating. Did Victor see him? Did he see color? Yuuri’s mouth went dry and his hands began to sweat. He hadn’t felt this nerve since before the tournament. “That’s good then.” The unidentified voice spoke. His mind began to yell at him: abort, abort, abort!

            Yuuri turned to leave when the voice called, “Hey, you there. Get us food.” The Russian was about his height and had soft blond hair. He was Yuri Plisetsky. He was only fifteen and was already following closely in Victor’s footsteps as being the world’s best skater. With Victor out of the sport, Yuuri imagined this young man was now considered the best. “Yuri,” Victor chided, rubbing his eyes as he too felt his way around the corner. “Be kind to others,” Yuri Plisetsky turned his attention back to Victor and nudged him. “You were told not to mess with them, quit rubbing your eyes.” The man turned and spoke to Yuuri again. “Please,” He exaggerated. “Get us some food.” He nodded and left them to find their way.

 

            He stared at the cooking pork and poked at it with a fork. His mind was no where near cooking food. It was on Victor. How was he blinded? To what extent? Yuuri chewed on the inside of his lip. He wanted to know more about Victor. He had to. The nearness to him sparked the need to be with him.

            Yuuri continued to prepare the bowls of food. “I know you love those things but two at once?” His mother’s soft chuckle at the door earned his gaze. She entered with an empty tray and took the prepared pork cutlet bowls from him. “They aren’t for me-“

“I know, for the guests out there. That young one has poor manners, doesn’t he?” Yuuri nodded, leaning against the counter. “But Mari is just taken with him, she’s even given him a pet name. Yurio. We’ll have to tell her that the age gap is frowned upon in almost all cultures.” She chuckled again and moved to leave. “Wait, I can,” he sighed, “I can take the food out.”

            He moved quickly, grateful for his abundance of balance. Yuuri entered the dining hall and bowed to settle the bows in front of the two. “What is this?” Yuri asked, pointing at the food with a hesitant grimace. “It’s a pork cutlet bowl. They’re my favorite, I ate them after every win.” He said with a smile. His fingers lingered on Victor’s bowl and his eyes glanced over him.

            Victor’s fine silvery hair was drying quickly in the warmth of the hotel. His eyes were not the same shade of blue as when he had first seen them. Being closer to him, Yuuri was able to see soft pink scarring around his eyes. He had seen scars like them before; the scars were burns. Yuuri pulled away and smiled awkwardly, “Wins?” Victor asked politely. “Oh, after figure skating competitions. If I won I would get a pork cutlet bowl.” Yuuri responded, settling the empty tray against his thighs. Victor turned toward Yuuri, not looking directly at him.

            “You skate?” There was genuine interest in his voice. No sadness or bitterness. Genuine interest in Yuuri’s skating. His heart fluttered. “I do, I was actually at the tournament you competed in about six months ago.” Victor’s shoulders dropped an inch and he nodded. “I remember that competition.” Yuuri watched Victor’s brow furrow as the man looked away. “I’m, I’m sorry.” Yurio slurped up the rice from his chopsticks and grumbled something in Russian. Victor shook his head and felt for his own chopsticks. He replied something back and waved at Yuuri. “We should talk sometime. There is, after all, that picture I owe you.”

 

~~~

 

            The sound of ice scraping echoed around him inside the small ice rink. He breathed deeply and jumped; a simple waltz jump. Yuuri loved being on the ice. It calmed him. With Victor in Hasetsu, his nerves needed all the calming they could get. As luck would have it, for Victor, he wasn’t entirely blinded. The extent of his injury cause minor damage to his eyes. There was a reason his coach had told him not to read the news during the tourney. Yuuri straightened his free leg and pushed off into a step sequence that closely mimicked Victor’s performance six months ago.

            He had wished so badly he could have watched it. Yuuri had spent so much time in front of his computer, watching the videos of that night’s performances. Victor was so graceful. He tried to emulate Victor Nikiforov. He felt if he had even one tenth of Victor’s natural ability or confidence, he would be set for life. A soft clapping sounded from the side of the rink. Yuuri scoffed and waved at them before even looking. He had assumed it was Yuuko. He neared the edge, finding it to be Yuri and Victor.

            Yuuri wanted to melt to the ice. “You saw me?” He gaped. “Yuri here described your routine’s details. Very nice.” He clambered to the wall and looked up at Victor. “I do apologize I’m able to see large shapes and movement, however that’s about it.” How terrible it would be. Yuuri stared at Victor, taking in his appearance. He wore a simple zip-up hoodie and loose fitting jeans. The light reflecting off of the rink illuminated the man’s face, brightening the color of his eyes. The pink scars could be seen easier. Yuuri wanted to reach out to touch them and to smooth the skin over. “Sounded familiar though.” He said with a smirk.

“Yeah,” Yuuri responded, feeling the heat of a blush fill his face. “There were a few sequences from your performance at the tournament.

            “Have you, I mean I know that its ridiculous, but have you been on the ice since the uh…” He trailed off watching Victor’s smirk fade. “No, I have not.” Before Yuuri could stop himself from speaking he asked, “Do you want to? I can help you.” Yuri scoffed. “What a ridiculous idea. You’re supposed to be resting Victor, the fact that we’re here is because you never listen.”

“Oh little Yuri, you’re no fun.” Victor spoke quietly, he turned his gaze back to Yuuri. “If you would not mind guiding a blind man around on the ice, I would love to take you up on the offer.”

 

            Yuuri leaned over the counter and fished out a pair of skates matching Victor’s size. Victor had left his skates in Russia, not expecting to set foot on ice. He felt as if he had an electric current running though him. Yuuri was excited to have a chance to hold onto Victor.

            Someone grabbed onto Yuuri from behind and slammed his head down onto the counter. “You’re filling him with false hope. What is worse?” Yuri’s voice came at Yuuri’s ear. His accent was thick and the ire in his voice was intimidating. He shook, daring not to fight against Yuri’s hold. “Knowing he can never skate the same again or having someone tell him he can?”

“You’d just let his passion die?” Yuuri stammered. The pressure on the back of his neck was released and Yuuri pushed away from the counter, skates in hand. The blond held Yuuri’s baffled stare with ease. “I don’t want Victor to be hurt anymore than he already is. I won’t let you hurt him.” Yuuri furrowed his brow and cocked his head nervously. “I don’t follow.”

            The young Russian scoffed and swept his bangs aside. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. I’ve seen the way you study him. Don’t think I don’t know.” His heart hammered loudly in his ears. “You’ve seen color, haven’t you?”

 

 

            Victor’s hand was surprisingly warm in Yuuri’s hand. He helped Victor onto the ice, compensating for the man’s unease. Victor trembled slightly but regained his composure. What time he had spent off of the ice seemed to have vanished. Even whilst he held Yuuri’s hand the man displayed prowess. He wondered if he was guiding Victor or if Victor was guiding him. The two skated lazily around the rink. A sense of dread filled him every time they circled past Yuri. It was not his intention to create an enemy in Yuri Plisetsky.

            How had he known? Victor wobbled, bringing Yuuri’s mind back to guiding the blind man. Victor sighed quietly. “I’m sorry.” Yuuri apologized, looking up to Victor. The man had his eyes closed completely. Yuuri’s heart hammered in his chest. Was Victor putting all faith in Yuuri? “Sorry for what? Guiding a blind man around the ice rink?” Yuuri frowned and looked away from him, focusing on letting Victor skate. “Yuuri?” Victor said quietly after a moment. To reply, Yuuri made a small noise from the back of his throat. “Why are you helping me?”

            Yuuri glanced back to Yuri. He shouldn’t have been encouraging Victor’s actions, but here he was. “I know how much skating meant to you. I don’t want you to lose that passion.” Victor smiled softly and offered him a glance. The sight of Victor’s arctic eyes sent shivers down his spine. He wondered if he could see color even if it were blurry. “You know, Yuuri. I’ve found that losing one passion does not mean you can’t find others.”

            The two moved into a gently spin, and finally made their way to the exit of the rink. As he helped Victor exit, Yuuri found he didn’t want to let go of Victor’s hand. The man turned, trying to look Yuuri in the eye at his lingering embrace. “If you want to skate again,” Victor’s smile widened. “Absolutely. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.” Yuuri nodded, his heart swelling with a minor success. Victor sat and began to fumble with the laces on his skate. Instinctively he knelt and began to unknot them. Yuuri helped pull Victor’s skates from his feet.

            Yuri nudged him from behind, nearly throwing him off balance. “Come on Victor. You need to rest.” Victor exaggerated a sigh and shook his head. “Yuri, you’re always so worried.”

“With good reason! You don’t take any of this seriously.” Victor shook his head and stood. “Fine.” His voice was tired. Perhaps of fighting with Yuri. “We can go back to the hotel.” Yuuri stood and backed away from the two, skates in hand. “Thank you Yuuri, we will see you perhaps at supper time?”

 

~~~

 

            It had been three days since that afternoon on ice with Victor. Yuuri sniffled and dropped his head back to the pillow. “Yep,” Mari said, wagging the thermometer in the air. “You’re sick.” He groaned and pulled the blankets up over his head. He had managed to secure the ice for Victor once more, and now he was running a fever and was nauseous. There was no way he’d make it to the rink. Mari stifled a chuckle and began to leave. “Want anything?” Her voice was nearly monotonous, but he could hear her amusement. “Water, please.” He whined rolling away from the door.

            Mari left him alone and returned ten minutes later with a glass of water and a small plate of crackers. “Mom says you need to eat too.”

“When I feel like this? Just the thought of eating makes me,” He paused, fighting the urge to gag. Yuuri covered his face. Mari sighed and set the water beside his bed with the crackers. “Can you do me a favor?” He asked, peeking around his hands. She cocked her hips and raised and interested brow. “Can you tell Victor- I mean Mr. Nikiforov, that I won’t be making it to the arena today?”

“He’s gone already.” She said with a noncommittal shrug. Yuuri sat up, resting against his elbows. “What?” She nodded. “When did he go?”

            “How should I know, Yuuri? I’m not our guest’s travel planner.” He furrowed his brow and dropped to the bed. Victor was already going to the arena. Yuuri groaned, he had to go. “What are you doing?” Mari asked when Yuuri threw his covers aside. “I have to go get him.” She shook her head. “That’s not the smartest idea you’ve ever had.”

“Yuri will be there.” He said, sparing a sideward glance at his fawning sister while he dressed. She stiffened and her face grew beet red. “I’ll walk with you.”

 

            Yuuri had to stop twice. One was a false alarm, but the other he vacated his breakfast into the bushes outside of the ice arena. Mari continued badgering him for being out and about. “Can you climb the stairs or do you need someone to carry you, princess?” He shot her a nasty glare and began to climb the cement stairs. Yuuri’s mind could only think of Victor, waiting in the dim arena. He would be listening to Yuri’s constant nagging. Would Victor listen this time? He was only- Yuuri spared a glance to his wristwatch, he was more than twenty minutes late. What if they weren’t even here?

            He pushed open the door with a huff. Yuuko stood behind the counter on her cell phone. “Yu-Yuuko.” She was working today. He gasped, wiping the sweat from his brow. Yuuri moved to the counter and nearly collapsed against it. His vision was swimming and his stomach was none too happy of the intensity of his movements. “Are they here?” She looked up at him. Yuuko and he had been friends since they were children. She was his height and had a skater’s form. She had light auburn hair that she always wore in a pony. Today was no exception. She furrowed her warm brown eyes and studied him. “Yuuri? God, are you alright?”

“No. Are they here? Is Victor here?” She glanced behind him and smiled anxiously.

            He turned, catching sight of Victor’s lean form moving toward them. “Victor.” He breathed, letting his weight rest fully on the counter as he turned. “Yuuri, are you alright? You sound terrible.” A weight lifted from his shoulders. He had made it before Victor? “Where were you, you left the hotel?”

“He wanted ramen.” Yuri grumbled from a few feet behind him. “We have noodles in Russia, Victor!” He snapped, moving closer. Victor waved his hand and smiled. “But they were so good.”

            Yuuri dropped to the floor before Victor and clenched his stomach. His mind was shouting at him. Don’t throw up, don’t throw up! “Yuuri?” Victor’s voice grew concerned, the man knelt before him. He took Yuuri’s face in his hands, his skin felt clammy beneath Victor’s warm and soft hands. “You’re sweating,” He said, surprise tinting his voice. Victor removed a hand and quickly wiped a soft cloth from Yuuri’s temple across his forehead. “You’re sick.” He said. “What are you doing here if you are so ill?”

“I didn’t want to let you think that I was abandoning you.” Victor clicked his tongue at him and stood. Yuuri closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the front of the counter. He watched Victor lazily as the man steadied himself against the counter. He reached down and offered Yuuri a free hand.

            Victor helped him up and wound his arm around Yuuri’s waist. He felt the blush filling his face. Being so close to Victor was pleasing, but in his condition he worried if there was any breakfast left on his clothes. What’s the point of worrying, he thought. Victor can’t see it anyway. The thought shocked him, tripping him up. “Easy,” Victor chuckled. “We’ll get you back to the hotel, and take the day off, yeah?” Yuuri sighed dejectedly and nodded. “Sure thing.” His voice was raspy and weak.

            Victor had admitted to seeing shapes and movement. Details he couldn’t see. Not once had he made mention of seeing color. Was Yuuri alone in this? Could you have a soul mate, but that person not belong to you? His heart stumbled. Had he seen color for another at the airport that one fateful night six months ago? He tripped as the two exited Ice Castle. Victor’s grip around him tightened, pulling him closer. “Careful,” Victor scolded gently. A glimmer of hope ignited inside him. Perhaps Victor could see color, maybe he saw color the same night? What if what truly brought Victor here to Hasetsu was him? “Yuri, come help us get back.” Yuri’s scoff could be heard from behind them. “Oh it’s not so bad, Yurio.” Mari’s voice spoke from behind them as well. He bristled. “My name is Yuri!”

 

~~~

 

            He released a long sigh and shifted, finding a weight on his arm. Yuuri furrowed his brow and turned to peer over his shoulder at the sleeping Adonis beside him. Yuuri jerked instinctively to the sight of Victor. The man stirred but only burrowed his face closer against Yuuri’s shoulder. His heart began to throb with his nearness to Victor. This nearness was what he craved. Victor’s warmth permeated the blankets.

Yuuri dropped his head to the pillow and waited for a wave of dizziness to pass. He swallowed nervously, praying to keep his cookies down while lying next to Victor. Why was Victor lying in bed with him anyway? He wanted to look over at him again. He wanted to scan over every moonlit inch of him. Did he dare? What if Victor woke up? A soft smile tugged at the corner of Yuuri’s lips before guilt filled him. He couldn’t see, could he? Victor wouldn’t notice Yuuri’s awkward staring. Yuuri peered over his shoulder once more, meeting Victor’s piercing blue gaze through his long lashes “Wha-“ Yuuri choked out, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. He had been caught. “What are you doing here?”

Victor sat up slowly and rubbed his face, taking care around his eyes. “Well, I thought that you’d get cold, sleeping by this window that is.” Victor ran his slender fingers through his silvery hair. He shrugged slightly and sighed, turning his gaze to the window. “Your sister said she had no problem with it.” Yuuri furrowed his brow as he tried to sort through the flurry of thoughts. Victor grumbled and moved to slide off the end of the bed. Yuuri caught his arm instinctively, holding him firmly.

            Victor was looking at him, his glacial eyes staring directly into his. His mouth went dry and his lips parted. Was Victor really looking at him? He had looked out the window before. Now he was staring directly at him. Why would a complete stranger feel comfortable lying with him? “Victor.” His voice was quiet and held the slightest of quivers. “I- Do you see…” He inhaled to steady his nerves. “I know you can’t see very well but,” He started. Victor pulled his arm from Yuuri’s hold brusquely and he slid from the edge of the bed. He watched the man stand and stretch. Yuuri shook his head. Fear rose inside him, fear that he was pushing away the love of his life. “I don’t mean to-“

“My sight is getting better, Yuuri. Everything’s just a bit fuzzy now. Thanks for asking.”

            Yuuri sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed. He dropped his head into his hands. “That’s not what I was going to ask. But I mean, it’s great to hear that your sight is,” He paused. “Getting better.” His heart hammered in his chest now. “But I was going to ask if you could see… me.” Yuuri found himself shaking. He still didn’t possess the nerve to ask him! He wanted to, he felt the question clawing at his heart. He needed to know, but did he truly want to know? His eyes slid to Victor. The lithe figure skater stood in the doorway with his hand on the door knob. He straightened and turned back to Yuuri. Victor’s expression was morose, but he smiled. “You need to get some rest.” He nodded, “Find me when you’ve rested.”

 

            Yuuri stared at the door after Victor had gone, unsure of how much time had passed. He couldn’t be expected to sleep at a time like this. He clenched his jaw together tightly and lowered his gaze to the floor beneath him. Yuuri pulled his legs up from the side of the bed and curled them to his chest. He looked to the window, staring at the moon through the gauzy white fabric.

            Victor could see color, Yuuri was sure of it. He was in Hasetsu for what? The hot springs? Yuuri wasn’t sure of Victor’s blindness. It had to be a ruse to get close to him. Yuuri flung the blankets from his legs and sat up. He grit his teeth tightly together and ignored the wave of nausea that followed his sudden movement. Yuuri moved quickly to the door and made his way down the hallway. He was going to confront Victor. He was going to kiss him. Yuuri’s heart fluttered at the thought. Kissing Victor Nikiforov.

            The halls were quiet. Soft snoring sounded from the rented rooms. He realized how late it was and questioned if Victor had returned to his own room. Yuuri quietly descended the stairs and trailed his hand softly against the railing. “This is pointless.” Yuri’s voice grumbled from the common room just off of the stairwell. Yuuri paused and looked to the ajar door. “He’s not getting better and he’s insisting on wasting time.” Yuuri furrowed his brow and approached the common room. “Yakov, he’s not going to just leave. He’s convinced the springs are working and there’s this guy here-“ Yuuri took a tentative step closer.

            The floorboards beneath his feet sounded a long and slow creak. “Hold on.” Yuri grumbled, he made his way to the door quickly. Yuuri’s eyes widened with panic. He backed away as silently as he could muster. He moved back into the stairwell out of the reach of the common room light. Yuri scoffed and turned, Yuuri watched his shadow cross the ground back into the common room. “There’s this guy here that’s helping Victor skate again. I think he’s convinced-“ The door slid shut, leaving only a sliver of light. He sighed and sat on the stairs, still listening to Yuri’s conversation. “He’s convinced he’s seen color for Victor. Of course not.” Yuri snapped quietly, “Yakov. What do you think I am? An idiot, of course it’s not possible. If you’d see this guy you’d know they aren’t soul mates.” Yuuri furrowed his brow and lowered his head. It was foolish wasn’t it? His hope for finding a soul mate in Victor was foolish.

            Tears stung at his eyes, beginning to fall freely. He sniffled. What if all of the evidence Yuuri had thought to have been proof was merely circumstantial? What if he was fabricating the feelings for Victor? He stood and swiped at the tears rolling over his cheeks. The tall and lithe Victor stood at the top of the next set of stairs. Yuuri froze, holding his breath temporarily. He was looking at him. Yuuri wasn’t sure if Victor truly saw him. “Have you, Yuuri?” Victor spoke after a moment. “Have you seen color for me?”

            Yuuri turned and climbed the stairs quickly, leaving Victor to chase after him. He needed to be alone, he needed to think. He rounded the corner to the hallway and almost ran to his bedroom. He shut the door with a firm snap and locked it. He clambered into his bed and pulled the blankets over his head. “Yuuri-“ Victor sounded at the door. “Yuuri, please open the door.” He huffed a sigh and brought the pillow up over his head to drown out the sound of Victor’s voice. He laid there until Victor had given up and promptly fell asleep after.

 

~~~

 

            He lifted a large cardboard box and set it high upon the shelf in the closet. He mother sighed and patted him gently on the shoulder. “Thank you dear.” He nodded and rolled his sleeves down. Yuuri hadn’t seen Victor for three days. He wondered whose choice that was.

            Yuuri looked away from his mother and shut the closet door. “Is there anything else you want done?” He asked, looking to keep his mind occupied. “Well, no. You’ve done every chore I could think of. Are you alright?” He shrugged her off of him and nodded. “I’m alright, mom.”

“A couple of people heard Mr. Nikiforov pounding on your bedroom door a couple of nights ago.” She said simply, her voice soft. She was trying to help. He backed away from her. “I’m fine, please just stay out of it.”

“Oh, Yuuri, I’m just worried about you.”

“I don’t ask you for anything mom. Please do this for me. Just do this for me once. Just stay out of my love life.”

“So you love him?” Her brow raised and a smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. He shook his head and threw his hands up. “I don’t-“ He took a steadying breath and shook his head. He lowered his voice and gave his mother a level stare. “I don’t know. Maybe?” She sighed and leaned against the counter.

            “Have you seen color darling?” She asked, eying him. He inhaled slowly and looked away from her. “No, I haven’t.” She nodded and straightened. She opened her arms to him and took small steps toward him. Yuuri embraced his mother, squeezing her tightly to him. “You’re a terrible liar.” She whispered to him before the two released each other. “Have you told him?” Yuuri gave her a sad smile. “I’m going to take a bath, all these chores you have me doing has made me sweaty and gross.” She smiled wider, “They aren’t that bad.”

“Slave driver,” He called back as he walked away.

           

            Yuuri sank into the hot bathwater. He was surprisingly alone. It was comforting to a degree. He had thrown himself into the chores. He hadn’t been on ice since he was last with Victor. Normally that’s where he would go if he was upset, but he didn’t dare risk going if it meant Victor was there. He sighed and sank further into the water.

            Yuri’s words echoed in his thoughts. _If you’d see this guy you’d know they aren’t soul mates._ Yuuri blew out a long sigh. Had he seen color for someone in the airport? For someone in Victor’s entourage, or was it truly Victor? Did he deserve a man like Victor? He swallowed the lump in his throat. Every time he wanted to admit to Victor he had chickened out. Every time he had come close, he had failed. It was eerily similar to his skating career. Did that reflect on him as a person? Was he always so easily swayed? He looked into the steaming water. Yuri told him to leave Victor be. Yuri hated him. Yuuri furrowed his brow. Yuri was the one trying to pull them apart and Yuuri was letting him.

            There was a reason Victor came here. Be it for the hot springs or for true love, Yuuri knew there was a reason Victor was here. This was a second chance to confess to him. He straightened, feeling an emboldening fire in his heart. How many chances was he going to be given before Victor gave up? Yuuri scrubbed himself down quickly, finishing his bath in record time. He needed to get over his nerve. He needed to profess his love to Victor.

            Voices broke the silence of the tiled bath. Familiar voices. Yuuri’s eyes widened with the realization of the owners. Yuri and Victor. Yuuri disappeared below the surface of the hot water. He jammed his eyes shut, attempting to bar out the stinging sensation. Shame filled him. He blew out an annoyed sigh. Bubbles cascaded to the surface, giving away his hiding spot. The garbled voices grew near yet passed as quickly as they had come. Yuuri peeked above the surface and wiped water from his eyes hastily. He caught sight of Victor’s silvery hair through the steam of the bath.

            That was your chance. Yuuri thought to himself. You could have chased after him. You still can. He’s in the springs now, easy to get to. His mind was still fabricating encouragement. Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat and abruptly stood. He clambered out of the bath and reached for his towel. He needed to get out of here before Victor came back. His heart throbbed sadly in his chest with the realization that Yuuri was chickening out once more.

 

            He had moved back to his bedroom quickly and toweled off. Yuuri dressed in old flannel pajama pants and a plain gray t-shirt.  He removed his glasses and began to dry his hair. A knock sounded at the door. “One sec-“ He called reaching for his glasses. He stumbled over discarded clothes and dirty dishes. He sighed, knowing he needed to clean his bedroom dearly. It was a drawback of hiding from Victor. Yuuri opened the door, resting the towel around his neck. “Victor!” He exclaimed stumbling backwards, his wide, brown-eyed gaze shot down to the small woman beside him. “Mom?”

            Blood had drained from his face as he stared at the skater beside his mother. “There is an issue with Mr. Nikiforov’s room and yours is the only other I can think to put him. Is it alright if he shares it with you tonight? I normally wouldn’t ask, but we’re full up.”

“N-no.” He stammered. Victor’s soft smile faded. “My room’s a mess.”

“Upside to being blind. I can’t see anything.” The man offered.  Yuuri looked to his mother, her smile widened, revealing her true intention. ‘Why are you doing this to me?’ He mouthed to her. She only shrugged and patted Victor on the shoulder gently. “Thank you for your understanding Mr. Nikiforov. Yuuri, bring those dishes down tomorrow morning.’

            Victor stood in the doorway and rocked back and forth on his heels. “So…” Yuuri sighed and took Victor’s slender hand in his. A blush filled Yuuri’s face yet he was thankful that Victor couldn’t see it. A pang of guilt filled him as he found himself thinking such things. Victor stumbled over a stack of dirty bowls and bumped into Yuuri’s back. “Sorry-“ Victor mumbled.  
“It’s not your fault.” Yuuri replied quietly, “I’m a messy person.” He paused and straightened. He was supposed to be building himself up. “At least I have been. I’ve been busy lately.”

“I’ve noticed.” Victor whispered as he sat upon Yuuri’s bed.

            Yuuri ran his hand through his damp hair and picked his glasses up from the computer desk across from his bed. He pulled the chair out and sat, facing Victor. “So what was wrong with your room?”

“I’m not sure. Your mother approached us as we were returning from the spa.”  
“And Yuri?”

“Apparently he’s found another room.” Yuuri rubbed his face and sighed. Victor shifted uncomfortably and earned Yuuri’s attention. “Are you alright, Yuuri? You seem upset at my being here.”  
“No.” He shook his head. Yuuri furrowed his brow and studied the skater across from him. It had been days since he had seen Victor. The pink scarring around his eyes had faded. “I’m,” He wanted to finish: ‘your soul mate.’ Or even: ‘in love with you.’ But instead he said: “I’m hoping you don’t think I’m too forward in asking but how did you lose your… how did you,”

“Lose my sight?” Victor asked, raising his brow. His silvery hair felt into his face, dangling in front of his piercing eyes. Yuuri bit his lip, worried he had upset the skater before him.

            Victor brushed his hair back and wrung out his hands. After a moment of silence he said, “I was entertaining the idea of leaving figure skating because I had seen color.” Yuuri froze at the man’s confession. Had he seen color for someone else? Was Yuuri’s biggest fear about to become reality? “I wanted to be with them and not have to worry about the spotlight interfering with our love. But when I told Yuri, he reacted unexpectedly.”

“Did he do this to you?” Fire burned in Yuuri’s chest. He clenched at his flannel pants. Victor looked up from the spot on the floor where he appeared to have been staring. “No. He was dreadfully sorry about it. He actually found the healing spas and mentioned them to me.”

“So you two are soul mates?” Victor’s eyes seemed to settle on Yuuri.

            “No.” He was quiet. “He’s yet to have seen color for anyone.” Yuuri relaxed, but realized immediately that he had been tensed. If he was so worried about Victor seeing color… why hadn’t he told him. “What about you?” Victor asked quietly. “Have you seen color?” Yuuri’s eyes widened as he stared at the man before him. Victor’s lips parted and he leaned forward ever so slightly, anticipating Yuuri’s answer. “I have, but they deserve better.”

“Isn’t that for them to decide, Yuuri?” A blush returned to Yuuri’s cheeks.

“W-Who’s to say-?”

            Victor placed his delicate hand on Yuuri’s knee. A warm tingling sensation spread though his leg. His heart fluttered. “Victor-“

“Yes?”

“Can you actually see me?” Tears welled in his eyes. “If you could, then you would know why I haven’t told my soul mate-“ Victor took Yuuri’s head in his hands and pushed his lips gently against his. Yuuri melted against him, relinquishing control to the man before him. Victor pulled away after a moment and ran his thumbs over Yuuri’s tear trails. “I can see you. I don’t know why you haven’t told me- or why you didn’t.”

“I’m not worthy.” Yuuri said, tears still rolling down his cheeks.  
“My world bled color when I watched you perform. When you fell, I could see the fear of failure in your chocolate eyes. But you got up, you tried again.” He said with a soft shake of his head. “You didn’t give up. You finished. Why are you giving up now so easily.”

“Trust me, Victor-“ Yuuri held at Victor’s slender wrists.

“Are you disappointed? In me?” Victor allowed Yuuri to pull his hands from his face. Yuuri froze, holding his soul mate in his hands.

            Their eyes met. Yuuri couldn’t breathe. He could only stare at Victor’s eyes through his fine hair. He relaxed his shoulders and released Victor.  He ran a tentative hand through Victor’s hair, pushing it away from his face. His fingertips lingered on Victor’s scars. “How could I be? You’re perfect.” He said, resting his forehead against Victor’s.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. If you did, leave a kudos or a comment!


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